Reader Survey: How do you hide your boner?

The SomethingAwful forums are widely known to be a hotbed of internet activity. In this case, the definition of activity includes socially inept behavior, public spectacle, and um..

On second thought, we'll let this recent forum post speak for itself:

Recently I found I was not the only one.

Long ago, when I would be making out with a lady, I would get a boner, and for whatever reason, I thought she might be upset about that (I don't know why). So when we were finished with kissing, I would have to leave the room "clever" so she woudlent see it.

What I would do was crawl away on all fours pretending to be a cat. I would even go as far as saying "meow" as I crawled around the corner to fix myself before I went upstairs.....

Another friend of mine apparently use to pretend he was a monkey while jumped around until he was clear out of the room.

Anyone else?

We know one of you has a story of how you hide that horribly emasculating piece of your anatomy commonly known as a boner. Which one of God's beautiful creatures do you find to be the most representative of your penis-related shame?

Source: Did you hide your boner?