Pop Pebbles: Hillary, Code Pink, super chicken dance, weed vending machines, idiotarod

Because they can't all be gems, we bring you Pop Pebbles, the semi-regular feature where we try to shake the magical gossip nuggets that get stuck in our shoes the past few days.

• Hillary Clinton had a convenient memory lapse upon being reminded of encounters with certain shady individuals on Friday's Today Show.
• Colbert Report writers parodied the batshit crazy Code Pink protestors during a Congressional meeting
• The NFL protects their brand and comes off out of touch, banning players from engaging in novelty dance crazes in support of charity (and um...major fried chicken corporations)
• Grammy performers were announced, the biggest surprises including The Time, Aretha Franklin(the MusicCares 2008 Person of the Year), and some gospel artists presented by Music Cares that, evidently, no one could care less about
• A new, unfortunately named music venue is opening in New York, [le] Poisson Rouge, or the Red Fish
• A Chinese couple sued the subway system when their PDA became more public than they had hoped. No word yet on a class action lawsuit regarding the everpresent smell of urine and "accidental" reacharounds on packed cars.
• Web 2.0 service EveryBlock launches, an aggregator of local news, crime reports, resturant reviews, and more. Craig Numark cries himself to sleep.
• Internet Crusaders "Anonymous" continue their war on Scientology, getting TV coverage
• The world's first weed vending machine opened its doors in LA. "Fuckin' machine" yet to take someone's quarter.
• The NYPD launches the cleverly-titled "Operation Secret Rider" to find and fine rude cab drivers.
• There's still time to register for tomorrow's Idiotarod, an event appealing to New York-based costumed douches with shopping carts
• Apparently a local actor by the name of "Keith Ledger" has tragically passed away. More information is not available at presstime.
  

Get Smart International trailer surfaces, indifference ensues

Fans of the 70's espionage-based sitcoms and defenders of Steve Carrell's funny but limited acting ability are sure to be disappointed by the new Get Smart trailer which turned up online earlier today. The trailer, which features Carrell talking into his shoe-phone, some derivative sight gigs, Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, a rather plain looking Anne Hathaway (a/k/a Anne Hathaway), and the other guy from Borat can be seen here. A dude posting on the internet puts it best:

"maneuvering through a laser field" has become the new "old people dancing to hip-hop".

True, but not sad. It could be worse, however, it could be Johnny English 2.

Source: Some guy [Via AintItCool]

Breaking: Moz is a douche of epic proportions

In what will surely come as a surprise to, well, no one, whiny British crybaby Morrissey is apparently quite difficult to get on with. A piece published in today's Times Online, a UK paper discusses the very high standards a member of the former Smiths singer must live up to. Former assistant tour manager Andrew Winters reveals "shocking" details of the singer's mandatory vegans-only rule, strict dress code, choice of drinking games, and olfactory necessities:

I am told that if I am accepted, then it will be the most unusual gig I will ever experience. ...

...I get the sense if I am caught even visibly acknowledging the existence of a McDonald’s - instant sacking. I politely ask what the view is on fish. Seafood is sea life, I am informed, the same rule applies....

... The production carries “sound-check suits”. I am informed that the band are considered “ambassadors” of the Morrissey tour and are therefore expected to be dressed in these suits for all soundchecks, all collective flights, all dinners and functions that may possibly include Morrissey – and it’s my responsibility to make sure that they are wearing them....

... During the soundcheck I am to “fragrance spray” between the front row and front of house and am informed that Morrissey’s PA will provide me with the fragrance of the day “if required”....

...Be careful, Andrew,” someone warns me. “Moz hates people who are boring . . . but then, he also hates people being too pushy around him. Establishing common ground quickly is important.”...

... Morrissey looks at me with what seems like a slight smirk and shakes my hand. “Don’t worry, Andrew, it can only get better than this,” he says – and then proceeds to grab his guitarist and rub his fingers through his hair....

... While this is going on everyone is drinking. Morrissey instructs his PA to order him a large vodka concoction...A drinking game ensues, where one of the musicians is encouraged to knock back his pint to a chorus of “Down in one, down in one, down in one,” a chant to which Morrissey himself adds flamenco claps, skipping in front of his employee. He immediately beckons for another pint for the same musician and the process is repeated....

Not only this, but apparently admiration of either Henry Rollins or Elton John do not bode well! But was Moz's vacant promise regarding things getting better ultimately true? Depends who you ask, as Mr. Winters got the boot on the second day of rehearsals.

One-hit-wonder SisQo turns up on country music star's doorstep

Wondering where platinum-follicled, dragon-unleashing SisQo (né Mark Althavean Andrews), sometimes judge of Most Talented Kids, former host of SisQo's Shakedown has gone? The old business model™ and paradigm shifts have held him back! He's now gold-haired wanna-be crooner, vying to become the biggest thing country music has ever seen. The derriere-adoring will be competing against a rag-tag group of six(6!) other has-beens will test their physical and mental agility to prove they are still relevant, and get a chance to have a song produced by John Rich of country duo "Big & Rich".

Let's meet our "celebrities"! Chart attackin' and heart attackin' Bobby Brown, former Wilson Philips member and author Carnie Philips, a scary blonde tranny , Juilio Iglesias Jr., Diana DeGarmo (who?), and Marcia Brady round out the cast for what's sure to be the most revitalizing move a television network has made since the renewal of American Gladiators.

Says the network that brought you My Big Redneck Wedding and Trick My Truck:

"Each celebrity will be paired up with some of Nashville's finest songwriters in an attempt to prepare them for a career in country music. In each episode, the cast competes against each other in challenges that will test them musically and physically to adapt to a country music lifestyle, both on and off the stage. At the end of the two weeks, the artist who is most prepared to impress a country audience, as determined by Rich, will record and release a song."

What does adapting to a country music lifestyle entail? Um...stuff like driving ATVs(which is "metal" and "confusing!") and...singing? We'll have to just sit and wait until the premiere, Friday night at 8 on CMT!

Or, you know, watch all the performances on grainy cameraphone videos on YouTube! Might I add, a youtube which features comments from youtube users such as "IdolSeacrest", "CountryMusikFan", and "Dianafan100"(authentic sounding!), saying things like:

• sisqo is king!
• Diana should win!
• Bobby n Sisqo are the kings of r n b
• when does this show start (followed by: i believe it's january 25th)

Here are four of the seven (sorry Julio, Carnie, and Marcia Brady fans), in all their muffled audio and lossy framerate glory:

Bobby Brown

Diana DeGarmo

SisQo

Dee Snider

Source: http://www.cmt.com/shows/dyn/gone-country/series.jhtml

VH1 Shuns Local Legend (as does Linkin Park, bulldogs, Myspace, and people with taste)

Self-described “Internationally known Brooklyn local underground Queen”, Jah Jah, a white rapstress has come clean about the unethical and “corny-ass” treatment of D-list nostalgia kings VH1. Says the pasty wiggerette:

“on september 29th I was asked to be on Vh1 hip hop honors to do a skit with Tracey [sic] Morgan..they gassed my head, told me that I had the main punchline skit and Tracey Morgan was going to "INTRODUCE me to hip hop" ( from Dara Cooke, and Nelson, producers).

"Jah Jah, we heard your a great rapper, no , we KNOW your [sic] an awesome rapper" "VH1 is going to introduce u to hip hop the right way with Tracy Morgan saying that Im Hip hop. ( TOTAL HEAD GAS)

whatever right?

so they hand me a Rakim rap and a Biggie verse and a fuckin Nas lyric and asked me to learn it in 2 minutes. haha ok. fine

yo. I got to tell u, I hailed a cab like all them motherfuckers, but crazy fly, u know me.. my hair done Purrfect, cute shirt that read across my tits " Naturalle SAN SILICONE" ..

again, Nelson was trying to gass my head "oh Jah Jah you could have won an Emmy for hailing that cab"

holy shit, these vultures in the studios were like so disgusting. the minute i was telling them some story about some old school cracked up rapper they were already making up a fuckin show about one hit wonders. these fuckers are so hungry for ideas..

…They Cut the Footage , lied about some timing shit, put in some super extended Gotti Advertistement . no problem .but..2 days later Myspace and Vh1 and other companies copped the French Graphic off my shirt, and it started appearing in ads. we have this recorded.
2 weeks later, in Commons video " Driving me WIld" they used exactly how i shuffled my feet and held a bag in my hand as a prop, no problem.. they can do what they want with my cues in the editing room..”

But that’s not all! Jah Jah ain’t no “studio gangster"(on the contrary!) she knows you need to be tough and edgy in this business:

“If being ATTACKed and surving is what makes for a good artist story these days, I've been seriously attacked by a 90lb Mastif pitbull, chewed off a chunk of my leg ( plus u can see my scars in my video if u look hard).. This Dona Diva was Numero 8 on myspace unsigned Hip Hop artist charts for over 1 year....until ah hem, I was deleted because as myspace told my manager "I posted a link on Linkin Parks page too big" hahaha... haterz . its fine.. who wants to be a myspace star anyway? oh yea, you couldnt pay me enough skrilla to be on "The White Rapper Show", I was gonna dip faster than a pig in carmel sh*t if I got picked to be on that comedy trap. $100.000 cool but u give them 100% of your publishing for 6 albums ahaha no wonder they punked me with a fake edit!! ask Shamrock who killed the audition for real!”

But this won’t get Jah Jah down! As she opines in third person: “Jah Jah is the most invisibly noticed artist, don’t sleep on her. Industry or not, the music is crack, the fans don’t lie.”

Source: http://www.myspace.com/mcjahjah