Shawn Carter: International Man of Marketing to be sued by a guy who is NOT DJ Kool Herc

Welcome to Bob Loblaw's Legal Eagle, a feature that appears when crazies as well as money-hungry normals attempt to sue the pants off celebrities and eccentric billionares of Scrooge McDuck-esque portions. And no, we don't care that there already is a real Bob Loblaw.

Jay-z is busy, busy, busy! Not only is he starting international marketing firms, allegedly starting new record labels, and getting removed from fictitious rap-based national monuments, but he's also busy with pending litigation.

[A gentleman sharing a government name with] hip-hop pioneer DJ Kool Herc is suing Mr. Carter for allegedly profiting from the African-American slave trade. The bank that is helping to finance and the owner of naming rights for the new Nets arena and Atlantic Yards Project is the source of these problems. Community activivist group, Da Black Defense League, with whom [the guy who is not] Herc is allied "explains" what they refer to as The Black Holocaust:

"the murder of 500,000,000 African Blacks and the demand for reparations for the abduction, murder, rape, willie-lynching and the stealing of all African natural resources; God given right to inherit those resources and our birth right to determine our own destiny." [XXL]

UPDATE: Just kidding! It's some different Clive Campbell, NOT DJ Kool Herc.
Oh, speaking of Jay-z! He might be planning to steal LeBron James from the Cavaliers. In like...two and a half years. [The Rap-Up]

Oh, oh! And Rush & Molloy think he's dropping an album with former labelmate Nas:

"Rumors continue to swirl about Jay-Z's still-unconfirmed new record label, Carter Music Group. We hear that Jay is partnering with rapper Nas on an album of duets, "The Kings of Hip Hop," to be released on the label early next year. Jay's rep is keeping tight-lipped." [Rush & Molloy]

Bob Loblaw's Legal Eagle: Randy Quaid: "Go fuck yourself!"

Welcome to Bob Loblaw's Legal Eagle, a feature that appears when crazies as well as money-hungry normals attempt to sue the pants off celebrities and eccentric billionares of Scrooge McDuck-esque portions. And no, we don't care that there already is a real Bob Loblaw.

In today's Legal Eagle, we have some housekeeping to do. This past month was busy for Randy "Cousin Eddie" Quaid! His wife, Evi kicked some receptionist in the shins until she bled and uncovered the Nazi plot against Mr. Quaid! He got banned from Actor's Equity! But there's more: Gothamist has reposted letters sent to the Post and Backstage. In Randy's letter to the post, he explains that Equity can't fire him because he's already quit!

Bob Loblaw's Legal Eagle

Welcome to Bob Loblaw's Legal Eagle, a feature that appears when crazies as well as money-hungry normals attempt to sue the pants off celebrities and eccentric billionares of Scrooge McDuck-esque portions. And no, we don't care that there already is a real Bob Loblaw.

First up we have Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson. You may know him as Mad Max, the guy who says "Give me back my son!" in Ransom, or even as that dude who called some cop "sugar tits". But today we learned what religiously-named Benedict Fitzgerald sees him as: A LIAR!

• Fitzgerald, who shared screenwriting credits with Gibson, claimed he agreed to "a salary substantially less than what he would have taken had he known the true budget for the film,"
• The lawsuit claims fraud, breach of contract, unjust enrichment and seeks unspecified damages. It also names Gibson's Icon Productions LLC as a defendant.

In other gavel-swinging news, the family of beloved Three's Company star and my childhood hero, John Ritter, are suing a bunch of Burban doctor-types. The suit alleges that two doctors and eight other medical personnel wrongfully diagnosed and treated Ritter, who died from an aoritc tear in 2003.