T-Pain aims for Limp Bizkit collaboration; Apocalypse forthcoming

Vocoder usin', Grammy losin' T-Pain, a/k/a the poor man's Akon did a feature on TEN singles last year. With such a prolific year of collaborations, surely he must be running out of people to work with - and he is! In an interview with MTV News, he names Toby Keith and Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst as the type of talent he aspires to sing rap - do whatever he does alongside:

another eye-opening artist that T-Pain has his sights set on, he said, is rap-rocker Fred Durst. "Get it on," he said, laughing

What does "get it on" mean in this context? I'm scared to ask. Maybe MTV and T-Pain can elaborate:

According to T-Pain, though, the idea isn't that much of a joke. "Really, to just do a T-Pain/ Limp Bizkit song, that would be awesome for me,"

Well, at least it would be awesome for someone! Thankfully, this does lead to a potential Monsters of Frathouses™ tour, which leads to a potential tour bus crash...

Breaking: Moz is a douche of epic proportions

In what will surely come as a surprise to, well, no one, whiny British crybaby Morrissey is apparently quite difficult to get on with. A piece published in today's Times Online, a UK paper discusses the very high standards a member of the former Smiths singer must live up to. Former assistant tour manager Andrew Winters reveals "shocking" details of the singer's mandatory vegans-only rule, strict dress code, choice of drinking games, and olfactory necessities:

I am told that if I am accepted, then it will be the most unusual gig I will ever experience. ...

...I get the sense if I am caught even visibly acknowledging the existence of a McDonald’s - instant sacking. I politely ask what the view is on fish. Seafood is sea life, I am informed, the same rule applies....

... The production carries “sound-check suits”. I am informed that the band are considered “ambassadors” of the Morrissey tour and are therefore expected to be dressed in these suits for all soundchecks, all collective flights, all dinners and functions that may possibly include Morrissey – and it’s my responsibility to make sure that they are wearing them....

... During the soundcheck I am to “fragrance spray” between the front row and front of house and am informed that Morrissey’s PA will provide me with the fragrance of the day “if required”....

...Be careful, Andrew,” someone warns me. “Moz hates people who are boring . . . but then, he also hates people being too pushy around him. Establishing common ground quickly is important.”...

... Morrissey looks at me with what seems like a slight smirk and shakes my hand. “Don’t worry, Andrew, it can only get better than this,” he says – and then proceeds to grab his guitarist and rub his fingers through his hair....

... While this is going on everyone is drinking. Morrissey instructs his PA to order him a large vodka concoction...A drinking game ensues, where one of the musicians is encouraged to knock back his pint to a chorus of “Down in one, down in one, down in one,” a chant to which Morrissey himself adds flamenco claps, skipping in front of his employee. He immediately beckons for another pint for the same musician and the process is repeated....

Not only this, but apparently admiration of either Henry Rollins or Elton John do not bode well! But was Moz's vacant promise regarding things getting better ultimately true? Depends who you ask, as Mr. Winters got the boot on the second day of rehearsals.

One-hit-wonder SisQo turns up on country music star's doorstep

Wondering where platinum-follicled, dragon-unleashing SisQo (né Mark Althavean Andrews), sometimes judge of Most Talented Kids, former host of SisQo's Shakedown has gone? The old business model™ and paradigm shifts have held him back! He's now gold-haired wanna-be crooner, vying to become the biggest thing country music has ever seen. The derriere-adoring will be competing against a rag-tag group of six(6!) other has-beens will test their physical and mental agility to prove they are still relevant, and get a chance to have a song produced by John Rich of country duo "Big & Rich".

Let's meet our "celebrities"! Chart attackin' and heart attackin' Bobby Brown, former Wilson Philips member and author Carnie Philips, a scary blonde tranny , Juilio Iglesias Jr., Diana DeGarmo (who?), and Marcia Brady round out the cast for what's sure to be the most revitalizing move a television network has made since the renewal of American Gladiators.

Says the network that brought you My Big Redneck Wedding and Trick My Truck:

"Each celebrity will be paired up with some of Nashville's finest songwriters in an attempt to prepare them for a career in country music. In each episode, the cast competes against each other in challenges that will test them musically and physically to adapt to a country music lifestyle, both on and off the stage. At the end of the two weeks, the artist who is most prepared to impress a country audience, as determined by Rich, will record and release a song."

What does adapting to a country music lifestyle entail? Um...stuff like driving ATVs(which is "metal" and "confusing!") and...singing? We'll have to just sit and wait until the premiere, Friday night at 8 on CMT!

Or, you know, watch all the performances on grainy cameraphone videos on YouTube! Might I add, a youtube which features comments from youtube users such as "IdolSeacrest", "CountryMusikFan", and "Dianafan100"(authentic sounding!), saying things like:

• sisqo is king!
• Diana should win!
• Bobby n Sisqo are the kings of r n b
• when does this show start (followed by: i believe it's january 25th)

Here are four of the seven (sorry Julio, Carnie, and Marcia Brady fans), in all their muffled audio and lossy framerate glory:

Bobby Brown

Diana DeGarmo

SisQo

Dee Snider

Source: http://www.cmt.com/shows/dyn/gone-country/series.jhtml