Sunday, May 10, 2009

Doing More With Less: My 2-Point Plan to Bailout the MTA

Sometimes it seems as though as MTA budgets have a directly inverse relationship with the reliability of MTA service. In a little over a year, the MTA has managed two major service hikes, effecting (read: fisting) both unlimited and pay-per-ride straphangers, with the cost per ride now sitting at $2.25, and the monthly unlimited price jumping from what was just $76 a little over a year ago, and is now $90 and gaining.

A lasting lesson of the indie-filmmaking movement of the early 90's was to consider the resources you already have, and to plan around that. It seems the Mass Transit Authority could also learn from these teachings. It seems as though in their current mad grasp at revenue, they haven't considered leveraging their current advertising opportunities to raise maximum revenue.

Paterson and Bloomberg and the High Horse they Rode in On

Ball-less accidental Governor Paterson and Dollar Sign Mike famously stood up for Joe Subwayrider last summer, suggesting "lucrative" fundraising alternatives like raising the tax on cigarettes in NY Indian Reservations. This has left both Indians and commuters shedding a solitary tear over the sacrilegious cost of a few drags. Despite our officials' dynamic policy strategy which leaves us shelling out more for smokes, somehow, the MTA is more expensive and less efficient.

We'll ignore the fact that MTA Conductors seem to be either experiencing severe burnout, lack resources for proper training, or just don't give a fuck, and that in additional to budget-based service cuts, general inefficiency has made the NYC subway ride a uniquely torurous experience, full of garbled commands being barked through muddled speakers, classified-quality advertisements, and misjudged stopping distances.

In July 2008, the deaf, dumb, and blind Gov asserted his power and solidified his position as a people's advocate while holding a press conference from City Hall.

"Another fare hike this soon after the last fare hike, just in my opinion, is not wise," Mr. Paterson said at a press conference yesterday, adding that the MTA should look at its books once more. "This just cannot become the new way that the MTA solves problems: Every time there is an issue, pass along the increase."


Eager to back Governor Magoo, in hopes of getting a blank check, Dollar Sign Mike promised similar vigilance towards the MTA, later that same July day:
"Until we're convinced they're doing more with less, we certainly wouldn't support a fare increase,".


And yet, somehow, the fare increase has been passed along (and I do mean passed along), with the promise of future hikes arriving more rapidly than late-night subway cars. Doing more with less, huh? I can think of a few ways to do that.

Today I'll focus solely on the branding opportunities available to the MTA. It has become clear that MTA is interested in featuring multimedia-rich installations, like the germ-havens that allow you to plug in your headphones to a muffled audio source, or the projectors that could really use a quick recalibration. That said, they don't monetize this process to the extent they should, falling woefully short of potential advertising revenue.

Without being obtrusive or distracting, it's possible to provide more results-oriented opportunities. Through my 2-point plan, the MTA could offer high value real estate to advertisers and partners, thus attracting more lucrative contacts.

1. Buskers & Us: A Lesson In Harmony

A long-time scourge of the cavernous NYC MTA dwellings is the busker. Arguably cleaner than his less-sophisticated brethren, the bum, the busker derives his revenue through eclectic performances, whether that be providing musical accompaniment, through the juxtaposition of immaculately crafted street ballet, and heart-breaking spoken word performances about regionally-successful baseball team sans uniforms (but with M&M Peanuts), affordable battery promotions, and opportunities to invest in urban infrastructure through a micro-contribution in the form of pocket change to rebuild an apartment building that is probably still ablaze, judging by the orator's tattered clothing.

So...the first step is to get these jokers out of here. We monetize this process by confiscating any revenue earned through panhandling. A zero-tolerance policy is exercized, and confiscated revenue subsidizes the cost of increased Transit Cop presence. It also leaves the suckers, or in this, "customers", as the MTA affectionately refers to us commuters, with a few dollars more in their pockets for future cash-wasting opportunities, later in this very text.

Now, as you may have noticed, there are also officially-sanctioned Subway performers, as a part of the "Arts for Transit" initiative. These "performers" have the artistically-compelling directive to enrich our everyday commute, and to enrich themselves through selling recordings and merchandise, as well as securing new bookings and exposure.

According to the auditons section of the page, all these jokers have to do is show up in the Spring, fake their way through a couple ditties, and laugh all the way to the bank. NOT ANYMORE!

Here's how it now works: sure, we can still solicit demos and pretend we care about the quality of these performers. Regardless, we are now going to let performers bid on different Subway stations. They will pay a monthly rate to be the designated performer for that station, or a station can have a schedule, and allow several performers to rotate. Not only will these performers now make more money, as their "competition" has been eliminated from the environment, but now they can also strategically target the most appropriate station for their "art".

It's also worth mentioning we can make them declare their earnings, and then we can not only hit them with a leasee fee wherein we deduct a percentage of their merch revenue, but the IRS can join the action and DP them. Anyway, do this and BAM! Ten zillion dollars raised for the MTA right there.

2. Added-Value Service Broadcasts

Either the MTA audio broadcast systems are archaic and wholly inadequate, or a mischievous audio engineer has been playing Charlie Brown reruns for some time now. Either way, riders have no idea what messages the MTA is trying to communicate.

While the video screens on the new R160 trains are a good start, it's clear the system could use improvement. It seems to me a large speaker manufacturer might be interested in footing the bill of this endeavor, and in exchange we give them....a spot for the logo on the back of the Metrocard? Sounds good to me.

Oh, but we're not stopping here. Now that we have this great audio system, let's really utilize the broadcast feature. Right now we have service announcements that advise us about ever present delays, stern directives to stand clear of the closing doors, and double-speed regional highlights at each stop. It seems like if we're already going to announce the local high-points (say Port Authority or New York University), that it might be possible to let, say Mary Poppins at the New Amsterdam Theater or a McSorley's Pub in the East Village) to pay for this consideration. They'll get an announcement every time the train stops there, maybe they could pay more for enhanced video-integration, and they get a sign at the Subway station.

Conclusion

Even though the NYC Mass Transit Authority has taken each and every opportunity to punish the "customer", we continue to have stronger brand loyalty to the MTA than almost any other product or service we interact with. I sincerely hope that knowledge I've dropped can benefit the MTA. Or at least get Marty Markowitz to go away from my Google Reader for a while.

Matt Rasmussen is an avid-walker, infrequent subway rider, and regular complainer. In addition to being a blight on society, he is the writer and director of the upcoming web comedy series The Tom Bonner Show, he has claimed to run Surf Astoria, a neighborhood cafe and artist collective in Astoria, NY, and maintains an erratically-updated Twitter.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Public Service Announcement

Effective today, this blog is back in full effect.



Oh, and register to vote.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Former Kid Nation participant takes action

Trouble is brewing in sorta-fake ghost town Bonanza City, home to the 40 pre-pubescent pioneers who participated in child-exploitation reality series, Kid Nation. The one-hour CBS show, which never really lived up to potential but was still sort of awesome. We already knew that Bonanza was more than $20,000 gold stars and root beer floats, but now a former contestant who was injured during taping is suing the "town council" of the Columbia Broadcasting System for anywhere between 300-450 gold stars. The stupidly-named Vulture Blog has a round-up of known injuries:
  • Four pioneers accidentally drank bleach from an unmarked soda bottle
  • 11-year-old Divad who burned her face on a stove but said she was fine afterwards
Our money is on jew crew member, entrepreneur, Shakespearean actor, pimp of KN, and future of America™, Jared.

Catholic Church announces new sins

In a hail mary attempt to disconnect with the youth of today, the Pope has announced 7 new "social sins", which will allow the Future of America™ to rebel in modern ways like using birth control or littering. No longer is being lazy enough to fully earn God's ire, one now needs engineer massive socio-economic changes like creating poverty. The full list of the 7 nu-sins follows:
† "Bioethical" violations such as birth control
† "Morally dubious" experiments such as stem cell research
† Drug Abuse
† Polluting the environment
† Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
† Excessive wealth
† Creating Poverty
For those attempting to check off all the items their unholy bucket list, here are the O.G. 7 Deadly Sins:
† Pride
† Envy
† Gluttony
† Lust
† Anger
† Greed
† Sloth
Hurry, hurry! Last one to the great white thone of judgement is a rotten egg who won't get punished for sin after the general ressurection and last judgement!

Nas is in talks to play Kool G. Rap

The recently announced Juice Crew biopic, Vapors, may be getting Queensbridge native, Nas to play the legendary Kool G. Rap, Wooohah reports. There are a bunch of huge names already attached: Clifton Powell as Mr. Magic; Keke Palmer as Roxanne Shante; and Evan Ross as MC Shan. It has been erroneously reported by many hip-hop news sources that Cuba Gooding Jr. is playing Marley Marl and David Banner as Biz Markie. Who would you like to see attempting to fill the kicks of the two legendary MCs? And how about KRS-one?

Oh, by the way...wanna be in the new Notorious B.I.G. flick?

The best advice comes from Rats

We've had enough of know-it-all advice column hacks who freely dispense worthless tips with no regard for accuracy, clarity, or usefulness. That's why we've been digging the new column Ask Rats! Ask Rats is written by Jayson Musson aka PackOfRats from Philly nigga-wizard-rap quartet Plastic Little, the author of Too Black for B.E.T., (infrequent) blogger, and all-around good guy. Here's how Mr. Rats fielded a recent query from a chap who couldn't keep up with his girl's astoundingly high sex drive:
"I have to say that any girlfriend that wants to fuck all day and let the used condoms and take-out containers pile up around you while you two conduct your cycle of fucking, eating, sleeping, fucking, eating, and sleeping again, is some marrying material."
And here's how the Black Like Me author responded to a reader who was not sure how to handle jealousy brought on by her husband keeping in touch with former lovers:
"Your husband, who I might say, sounds like quite the shrewd individual, is probably just preparing for the inevitable and I advise you to do the same or you'll end up spending your lonely, post-marriage single days watching Law and Order with a Sybian you've sadly decided to name 'Henry.'"
We think you'll dig the rest. Keep up with Jay at Philly's two.one.five mag.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Quarterlife 2.0: 5 Other Failed Net Shows

Here's a shocker - a show that started on the Internet and went to the National Broadcasting Corporation, Quarterlife has failed. The hour-long drama which originated on MySpace is about twenty-somethings "coming of age in the digital age"(current!). But it wasn't all winky-emoticons and banana splits for the creators of cancelled young-folk shows like My So-Called Life and Thirtysomething, as Quarterlife failed to hit with its target demo(or any demo!), who they undoubtedly expected to put down their computers long enough to watch something on some outdated device of yesteryear. Surely, this relatable and hip concept would result in tens, maybe elevens, or 18-24 year olds twittering "brb watching quarterlife". Unfortunately the net-centric series garnered NBC the worst ratings for the time-slot in twenty years.

Sadly, the world just isn't read for the marriage of Television and Internet, and might not be for quite some time. We have an exclusive look at 5 other web originals that weren't able to make the jump from the small screen to the slightly-larger screen:

5. Kitchen Beat Box

Pitch: Rachel Ray meets Rakim
Reason Network Execs Passed: "Too ethnic.", "dicey", "not friendly to deaf viewers"

4. Lasagna Cat

Pitch: A sitcom version of the "popular" and "humorous" Jim Davis comic strip, "Garfield". While passed on, a Heathcliff-based take-off is currently being shot on spec for My9.
Reason Network Execs Passed: "Too catty", licensing issues, "intellectually challenging"

3. Leave Chris Crocker Alone/The Chris Crocker Experience

Pitch: Chris Crocker, "famous" for crying about Britney Spears and...crying about Britney Spears stars in this morning chat show, in which he takes celebrities of ill repute under his wing and defends them from the meanie public.
Reason Network Execs Passed: "Too 'gay'", alleged ego and diva-like behavior of namesake

2. Who's Fucking Who?

Pitch: Days of Our Lives for the Internet generation. In each episode, a new set of celebrity fornicators would be revealed.
Reason Network Execs Passed: "Too expensive", "racy"

1. 2 Girls 1 Cup
[Video removed to spare those of you with real jobs, "taste"]
Pitch: Hey, they said "lemon party" on 30 Rock, it's only a matter of time!
Reason Network Execs Passed: "Characters aren't likeable enough", "not enough merchandising opportunities", "there's already enough shit on Fox"

Mario Party

Try as we might, we just can't bring ourselves to hate this recent Mario Party hosted in Denmark. While the concept is admittedly dorky, we were surprised to not see morbidly obese cosplayers and nebbish gamers, but instead, normals [Ed note: Okay, there were some azns]. Among the featured cocktails for the event is this tasty-sounding twist on the Southern Peach cocktail:

Princess Peach

  • 2 cl Southern Comfort
  • 2 cl Peach Bols
  • 5 cl Cranberry juice
  • 2 cl Lime juice

Directions:
Shake. Serve without ice in chilled martini glass.

Garnish:
Peach wedge and pink umbrella

We'll stick to our usual, but the site does have some fun options.

PSA: Wear a Sweater Day

March 20th is "Won't You Wear a Sweater" Day. By the way, the rumor that Fred Rogers wore a sweater because he was inked-up former sniper is from the land of make believe.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Lighter Side: Trapper gives van to future of america™

Welcome to the Lighter Side of the Internet, where we post heartwarming tales of unicorns, puppies, and blueberry pancakes! It's our version of the little girl in the pink coat from Schindler's List.

Today's story is about generic rapper but apparent good guy, Young Jeezy. Jeezy gave a wheelchair accessible van to a 13-year-old fan with cerebral palsy last night after receiving a letter from his mom. The note explained how hard it is for her to leave the house because of the boy's disability. She also mentioned that her husband and the boy's father is currently stationed in Iraq. We definitely feel for the kid, especially since it's probably the most heartbreaking tale we've heard since that girl and her mom who said her dad died in Iraq to score Hannah Montana tickets.

In addition to the magical van, young Davon Jenkins also received a "personalized wardrobe [consisting of Jeezy's] 8732 clothing line". Apparently in order to receive the van, the poor kid needs to suffer the cripplingundeserved fate of becoming a walking Young Jeezy billboard? Regardless, we salute the southern rapper for giving something to society with slightly more merit than coke-dealer anthems.

Speaking of coke dealer anthems! Stay tuned for our list of the top 10 rapper drug-arrests, coming early next week.

Intellectual Property and You: A Lesson of Relative Value

Do you go to networking parties and tell people about how you have three novels with lots of publisher interest and because you're totally a starving artist who couldn't afford to copyright them, you mailed your brilliant manuscripts to yourself and never opened them? Then you might want to consider becoming an "Intellectual Property Donor©"! You see, an intellectual property donor is someone who thinks their intellectual property is sooooooo valuable that John & Jane Q. Mogul will be knocking down his or her next of kin's doors to option the many sublime works he or she created before passing on to the networking party in the sky. According to this guide to becoming an IPD©, by donating your IP you "promote the progress of science and useful arts". Hopefully by the time you die MySpace surveys and tumblrs are considered useful arts. Do something useful and become a real donor, please.

DISCLAIMER: I am not an Intellectual Property Donor© because there is no shortage on misplaced commas, awkward syntax, and run-on sentences. I am, however, an actual donor.

5 Reasons Why We Love Kid Sister

We don't try to hide very hard the fact that Chicago club-rapper Kid Sister is one of our celebrity crushes. It's hard to articulate just why, but there's just something about her bubbly charm, bouncy flow, and...well, she's just mad cute. We try not to gush, honest, but...listen, here is a five-step plan for you to fall in love with her too.
  1. Her videos are fantastic. Pro Nails f. Kanye West has been taking over whatever channels music videos are played on and her new video, Beeper, a Count & Sinden record she did a feature on is a high-energy throwback that makes us bounce up-and-down in a way which is unbecoming for someone who is typing at a computer.
  2. We want to be friends with her friends. Here contacts list reads like our iTunes recently played: her boyfriend is A-trak, a world-champion DJ, Justo nominee, and co-owner of Fool's Gold Records. Her brother, DJ, and hypeman is J2K of Flosstradamus. Kanye West asked to be on her song!
  3. We are counting the days to her new record. She just announced a deal with Downtown Records for her upcoming album, Koko B. Ware. It dropping this summer and is going to feature producers like XXXChange, Trackademics, and some Dipset cats. We can hardly contain ourselves!
  4. Her name reminds of us other things that we like. We had a My Buddy doll when we were little, the companion to Hasbro's Kid Sister. Also, the name Kid Sister sort of sounds like one of our favorite indie-ish rap groups, Little Brother.
  5. We totes relate to her! She posts MySpace blogs about how broke she is/was. She just got cable!
We could keep going, but are trying to avoid sounding all dream phone about her. We'll leave it at this: Kid Sis is super cute and you need to friend her and add her to your playlist sooner rather than later. Here is a track to get you started:

Kid Sister - Damn Girl (Control EP)

Monday, February 25, 2008

Nasty breakfast food comes in all shapes and sizes

When I was a wee lad suffering from ugly duckling syndrome, my mother always told me that each vile morning snack was special in it's own each way. I'm not sure why this was supposed to be reassuring, but it sure did help! Here is a self-esteem boost for all you breakfast bombshells out there.

Good news for brunchers who prefer freezerburn to lox: Kraft Foods has announced plans to released a bagel pre-filled with cream cheese. Delish, right!? But wait, there's more - these doughy delights, named Bagel-fuls (blech), which are sure to be hard as a rock come in not one, but TWO tantalizing flavors: regular OR cinnamon! Sold!

The campaign to stop the extinction of those actually-not-that-bad breakfast sandwiches that Starbucks serves all day long is not going so well. Sure, they looked really nasty in the display and were sort of stale and funky, but is that really any reason to discontinue them? Join the movement now, you can be the 40th sangwich soldier in this ill-attended revolution!

Dr. Dre to release super-premium Cognac, sparkling vodka

Former N.W.A. member, award-winning DJ and producer, Aftermath Entertainment CEO, and 1/4th of a fictional famous landmark, Dr. Dre, has announced a way to fill the void left by still not finishing his highly-anticipated solo album, Detox. He's going to get into the luxury beverage market!

Dre will be teaming with Drinks America, who make fine libations like Trump Vodka (created by a failure with fine golden locks who hasn't tasted it), Willie Nelson's Old Whiskey River Bourbon, and Rheingold Beer. In addition to Drinks America's portfolio of failures there is the overwhelmingly delicious Newman's Own line of lightly sparkling juices.

Dre's first releases will be a "super-premium Cognac" and a "special sparkling vodka beverage". No word if Dre is aware that there already is a special sparkling vodka beverage, known to most as Ketel & Club Soda.

Dre is not the first rapper to get involved in the beverage game. Previous and current failures include: Damon Dash's Armadale Vodka, Jay-Z's Cognac, Lil Jon's Crunk Energy Drink, Dipset's (and now M.O.P's) Sizzurp Purple Punch Liqueur.

This does, however, beg us to ask: which rapper-branded rotgut would you like to see next?

50 Cent's Bub Sparkling Wine
T-Pain's Drank
Nelly's Pimp Juice
Big Boi's Kryptonite
Ether by Nas
Soulja Boy Tell'em Berry Coolers

Please note, the first person to suggest Snoop Dogg's Gin & Juice in the comments will be swiftly banned.

Puma to release Fresh Prince of Bel-Air kicks

Puma announced plans to release limited edition Fresh Prince of Bel-Air sneakers. The Bel-Air Puma Clydes will be made of Italian alligator skin. The companion shoes, the graff-inspired "West Philly" edition will also drop on May 17th. This announcement comes hot on the heels (HA!) of a recent media-inspired footwear trend which includes: the Freddy Krueger SB Dunks, the Dawn of the Dead Air Trainers, Jason Voorhees hi-tops, Mtn. Dew dunks, and Obama Air Force 1s. Optimistic sneakerheads are still left hanging as far as the Nike Air McFly goes.

Shawn Carter: International Man of Marketing to be sued by a guy who is NOT DJ Kool Herc

Welcome to Bob Loblaw's Legal Eagle, a feature that appears when crazies as well as money-hungry normals attempt to sue the pants off celebrities and eccentric billionares of Scrooge McDuck-esque portions. And no, we don't care that there already is a real Bob Loblaw.

Jay-z is busy, busy, busy! Not only is he starting international marketing firms, allegedly starting new record labels, and getting removed from fictitious rap-based national monuments, but he's also busy with pending litigation.

[A gentleman sharing a government name with] hip-hop pioneer DJ Kool Herc is suing Mr. Carter for allegedly profiting from the African-American slave trade. The bank that is helping to finance and the owner of naming rights for the new Nets arena and Atlantic Yards Project is the source of these problems. Community activivist group, Da Black Defense League, with whom [the guy who is not] Herc is allied "explains" what they refer to as The Black Holocaust:
"the murder of 500,000,000 African Blacks and the demand for reparations for the abduction, murder, rape, willie-lynching and the stealing of all African natural resources; God given right to inherit those resources and our birth right to determine our own destiny." [XXL]
UPDATE: Just kidding! It's some different Clive Campbell, NOT DJ Kool Herc.
Oh, speaking of Jay-z! He might be planning to steal LeBron James from the Cavaliers. In like...two and a half years. [The Rap-Up]

Oh, oh! And Rush & Molloy think he's dropping an album with former labelmate Nas:
"Rumors continue to swirl about Jay-Z's still-unconfirmed new record label, Carter Music Group. We hear that Jay is partnering with rapper Nas on an album of duets, "The Kings of Hip Hop," to be released on the label early next year. Jay's rep is keeping tight-lipped." [Rush & Molloy]


Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Hood Rich: Kid Sister: "I’m just tryin’ to get my shine on!", Will.i.am. joins Wolvie cast, Hot Boys lose steam

Yesssirrr it's time for Hood Rich: All the news that's fit to pimp. It's our feeble attempt at collecting some of the more interesting recent happenings in the world of hip-hop into one easily palatable information smoothie.

Steve-O to Kat Von D: "Pull your career out of the fire, Good luck. Game over."

Today, a story about why mediocre tattooist-to-the-stars Kat Von D is a terrible girlfriend/wife and why Steve-O is...well, Steve-O.

Purported anti-semite and recently sober Kat Von D hates only one more thing than people of the Jewish faith: the institute of marriage. According to brain-dead meth-head Steve-o, that is. Celebrity Smack has the "exclusive" though I'll note their source is Steve-O's myspace. An accusatory and long-winded text message exchange follows:

Steve-O To Kat: Were you really saying that you wanted off my list? And why’d you delete Orbi and make Nikki such a big deal?

Changing your e-mail address will only serve to admit guilt and shame of your anti-semetic[sic] accusations. Nobody on Earth thinks Garver is a liar, if you want out of this situation, you have to make good with Garver– for He is the only man that can clear your name. Sueing[sic] won’t help you either– you must prosecute in the court of public opinion, with Garver as your witness… Or…

Let me try to finish “cleaning out my closet”– I travelled[sic] to roughly sixteen countries with Carolla, and got him laid in just about every one of them. He is not a Good person, but, he is not a liar, either. You fucked Carolla (when you were married), isn’t that right, Carolla? People who lie get punished, in mysterious ways…

Kat: steve, just got your texts. I can’t believe you’d say some of that stuff. Nice knowin you.

Steve-O:
At least I’m not a liar. Good luck with doing more of that. Liar.

Don’t bother crying to Nikki over the fact that I’m honest. He doesn’t like liars either, and your panties get to easily twisted up in a bitchy, mad-for-no-reason bunch for you to last so much as three weeks with him.

Kat; wrong you. Nikki is a friend. That’s it. Please stop texting me these mean messages.

Steve-O: Sorry for my poor grammar. I had to clean out my closet. Why’d you delete Orbi. Why’d you let your publicist go to the tabloids with “kat dumps steve-o” (only for you to wind up with “steve-o dumped by tattoo artist), why’d you sweep that hate message under the rug for eight months instead of get GOOD press out of SQUASHING IT IF YOU DIDN’T WRITE IT?

Kat:
Dude. Enough of this bullshit. My publicist did NOT say anything about our break up. They got that shit from someone on YOUR end. Don’t put that shit on me. I was the one that wanted to keep everything private. And you know that! I’m not gonna take blame for shit I didn’t do. NOW, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

Steve-O:
I don’t have a publicist. And nobody on my end would fuck with me like that. My advice is to ask Garver to pull your career out of the fire. He’s the only one who can, and he’s not a liar. Good luck. Game over.

Kat; and ps. My career is not on fire.

Steve-O: Right, it’s not “on fire”, it’s “cooling down” quick…

Kat: STOP TEXTING ME.

Steve-O: Two words. DANNY WAY…

Nowhere in that correspondence did Kat deny that she did, in fact, write that hateful message, and hand it,
herself, to Chris Garver. She cheated on her husband with me, Bam, Carolla, Ville Vallo, my friend, Bryan Gillooly, and God-only-knows who else. And she’s on record lying about alot of things. I don’t care, I’ve moved on now. I’m a happily married Family Man...

Harsh words from the guy who staples his ballbag for a living! I think the worst part of all these accusations is the notion of someone who is even remotely sane would be involved in any way with Steve-O. But good news, besides his "hot wife", he always has his big dick and a rap career to fall back on.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

In NYC? Like music?

My current favorite French electro artist, Yelle, is playing at my former place of employment, the Knitting Factory. You should go! Tickets are $15 and the doors open at 7.

UPDATE: You guys work quick! The show is now sold out. Hope you got while the gettin' was good.

Will Ferrell stays classy, goes back to well™

SXSW film fest producer Matt Dentler has some Will Ferrell news for you - and boy is it...predictable! At a recent screening of Ferrell's Semi-Pro at the Alamo Drafthouse, the hairy tall guy had this to say:
Ferrell commented that as he's performed his Anchorman character Ron Burgundy on the tour, he's started to think up possible ideas for a potential sequel to that film.
In the article we also find out Ferrell was originally offered the Butterscotch Stallion role in Wedding Crashers - scandalous!